Commentaries Medium- English

Philippines Pulverizes Indonesia in TARA 4 Debate

The Controversial Passport


(1) Dumbasz Kurniawan-Filipino, protagonist dynamic character- alter and aletered ego and Grammar auto-corrector of M Heru Kurniawan
(2) Asel-Filipino, protagonist
(3) M Heru Kurniawan, Indon, antagonist
(4) Timz Gerrit, Indon, antagonist
(5) Christian Bautista– minor character, Dummy account of Asel
(6) Dumbasz Geritt- minor character, Dummy account of Asel, alter and altered ego and auto-corrector of Grammar of Timz Gerrit
(7) “M Heru Kurniawan”-double of M Heru Kurniawan, Dummy account of Asel
(8) “Timz Gerrit”- -double of Timz Gerrit, Dummy account of Asel
(9) Sawsaw Sukas- minor characters who pop in and out.  Some are intelligent observers who for the sake of Composure do not dip totally in the suka.  Some are frequent commentators who for the sake of papansin make habitual posts but are grammatically-constrained.  Some are nonsense agitators while some are conscientious pacifiers.
The plot begins with this passport picture of Richard earning criticisms from the Indonesians. Their argument- “USA wins TARA4 since The Richards are of American Citizenship and not bona fide Filipinos”.  In the beginning several Indonesians and a few of other Asians including a “treacherous Filipino” attack the patriotic Pinoy defenders.  The Indonesian M Heru Kurniawan begins throwing foul words as he cannot accept the defeat because he cannot understand the rule of TARA, the principle of Dual Citizenship, the meaning of jus sanguinis and the law of naturalization. Timz Gerrit, out of the blue surfaces to work back to back with M Heru. M Heru rejoices in frolic. Timz and Heru even become more energetic when Dumbasz Kurniawan comes into the limelight. Dumbasz Kurniawan agitates Timz and Heru’s furious hate of the Filipinos. Asel thinks that the two Kurniawans are one and the same person but Keannu argues Dumbasz Kurniawan is a Filipino. Indeed, Dumbasz Kurniawan is a Filipino but Keannu is wrong in his/her accusation that Dumbasz is betraying the Filipinos Trust. Dumbasz ends up reverting and inverting his past statements and declaring Heru and Timz as stupid. Dumbasz now takes the side of the real Filipinos. Philippines scores 1-0 vs. the Indons for the cleverness of Dumbasz and the stupidity of the Indons for not even asking who is this Kurniawan.
Heru and Gerrit calls for a rematch. Their major argument- Filipinos are good for nothing since they keep on banking on Half-foreign/Half-Filipino individuals for international contentions. They cite AFF Suzuki Cup with PhilBrit soccers for the supporting evidence. Out of nowhere, Christian Bautista enters the scene. He rallies for a truce between the Indons and Pinoys since as he said the two “breeds” are close to his heart. It turns out that Heru and Timz are die-hard gay fans of Christian. Timz even sings- “Is there something in the way Heru looks at me”. It takes them a long long time before they discover that Christian is a dummy account. Christian mistakenly takes Garuda as a place and says ”I don’t want to go to Garuda because there are a lot of Komodo Dragons there”. Gerrit finally doubts and says “How come there are Komodo Dragons in Garuda Airlines?”  Christian reveals and answers “I mean Komodo Dragons namely Timz and Heru are aboard the airlines”. The Philippines scores 2-0 against the Indons.
Timz and Heru never lose Hope. Their main proposition now is that Filipinos are cowards for making dummy accounts. Also, the never ending issues of passport, citizenship and their non-proficiency in English language resurface over and over again. Dumbasz Gerrit comes out to tagteam Dumbasz Kurniawan. It pisses off the Indons even more. Foul words and threats are cast all around. “M Heru Kurniawan” surrenders.  Timz Gerrit surrenders too after “M Heru Kurniawan” waved his white flag”. However, it is a different “M Heru Kurniawan”. Different “M Heru Kurniawan”, Christian Bautista and Dumbasz Gerrit are one and the same. As usual, it takes the Indons a long long time to realize the conspiracy. The Philippines score 3-0.
The Real Heru Kurniawan bids goodbye and leaves Timz Gerrit alone. Timz Gerrit tries to get back and score against the Pinoys. Suddenly, “Timz Gerrit” admits he is gay and he is a loser. But this is a different “Timz Gerrit”.  Finally, the Real Timz Gerrit together with his Indonesian representation surrenders and leaves the page.
FINAL SCORE: Phil 4 vs.  Indo 0

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