Categories
Medium- English Poems Random Thoughts

Random Act of Drunkenness, a text message and a quick post

.

All things

No matter how good

Must come to an end

So much are the pains 

Enough are the sacrifices 

Some wounds never mend 

Albeit all the love 

Despite the respect 

You’re still a friend 

But when it’s over 

Then it’s over 

It’s final 

No one can make amend

Categories
Medium- English Music Poems

Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness

Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness– the first music album I actually bought out of my pocket.  CD was not yet popular during those days.  It was CT that inhabited those racks juxtaposed CT player.  Of course, CT stood for Cassette Tape and it looked like this:

Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness Volume 1 and 2

The first set I bought was lost a month after so I bought another.  After five months, it was lost again due to fortuitous event.  For the third time, I tried to have another but I found it hard to.  I ransacked branches of Odyssey and Radio City including those in Glorietta but to no avail.  CD replaced CT yet still it is nowhere to be found.

According to Wiki,

Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness is the third album by American alternative band, The Smashing Pumpkins released October 24, 1995 on Virgin Records. Produced by frontman Billy Corgan with Flood and Alan Moulder, the twenty-eight-track album was released as a two-disc CD (2-volume CT in my case), and triple LP. The album features a wide array of styles, as well as greater musical input from bassist D’arcy Wretzky and second guitarist James Iha.

Led by the single “Bullet with Butterfly Wings“, the record debuted at number one on the Billboard charts, the first and only such occurrence for the group. The album spawned five more singles—”1979“, “Zero“, “Tonight, Tonight“, the promotional “Muzzle“, and “Thirty-Three“—over the course of 1996, and has been certified nine times platinum by the RIAA. Praised by critics for its ambition and scope, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness earned the band seven Grammy Award nominations in 1997. It is also widely considered one of the best albums of the 1990s.

*And it sounds like this:

**Uploaded original versions were removed from Youtube for Intellectual Property Rights Infringement Cases.  I recently uploaded two tracks, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness and Love and finger-crossed that Youtube would tolerate this for quite some time.  You can search the net for original audio tracks and find out that first is still the best.  Notwithstanding, enjoy Smashing Pumpkins Poetry at its best with the following lyrics.

Disc One, Dawn to Dusk

Disc One (Dawn to Dusk)

1. Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness

This track sets the perfect decorum for an emotional solitude.  Turn the lights off and light a candle.  Just make sure you are home alone.

2. Tonight, Tonight

Tonight, Tonight

Time is never time at all
You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth
And our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same
The more you change the less you feel
Believe, believe in me, believe
That life can change, that you’re not stuck in vain
We’re not the same, we’re different tonight
Tonight, so bright
Tonight
And you know you’re never sure
But you’re sure you could be right
If you held yourself up to the light
And the embers never fade in your city by the lake
The place where you were born
Believe, believe in me, believe
In the resolute urgency of now
And if you believe there’s not a chance tonight
Tonight, so bright
Tonight
We’ll crucify the insincere tonight
We’ll make things right, we’ll feel it all tonight
We’ll find a way to offer up the night tonight
The indescribable moments of your life tonight
The impossible is possible tonight
Believe in me as I believe in you, tonight

3. Jellybelly

Jellybelly

welcome to nowhere fast
nothing here ever lasts
nothing but memories
of what never was
we’re nowhere, we’re nowhere, we’re nowhere to be
nowhere, we’re nowhere, we’re nowhere to see
living makes me sick
so sick i wish i’d die
down in the belly of the beast
i can’t lie
you’re nowhere, you’re nowhere, you’re nowhere to be
nowhere, you’re nowhere, you’re nowhere to see
there’s nothing left to do
there’s nothing left to feel
doesn’t matter what you want, so
to make yourself feel better
you make is so you’ll never
give in to your forevers
and live for always
and forever, forever, you’re forever to be
forever, forever, you’re forever to me

4. Zero

Zero
My reflection, dirty mirror
There’s no connection to myself
I’m your lover, I’m your zero
I’m the face in your dreams of glass
So save your prayers
For when we’re really gonna need’em
Throw out your cares and fly
Wanna go for a ride?She’s the one for me
She’s all I really need
Cause she’s the one for me
Emptiness is loneliness, and loneliness is cleanliness
And cleanliness is godliness, and god is empty just like me
Intoxicated with the madness, I’m in love with my sadness
Bullshit fakers, enchanted kingdoms
The fashion victims chew their charcoal teeth
I never let on, that I was on a sinking ship
I never let on that I was down
You blame yourself, for what you can’t ignore
You blame yourself for wanting more
She’s the one for me
She’s all I really need
She’s the one for me
She’s my one and only

5. Here Is No Why

Here Is no Why

the useless drag of another day
the endless drags of a death rock boy
mascara sure and lipstick lost
glitter burned by restless thoughts of being forgotten
and in your sad machines
you’ll forever stay
desperate and displeased with whoever you are
and you’re a star
somewhere he pulls his hair down over a frowning smile
a hidden diamond you cannot find
a secret star that cannot shine over to you
may the king of gloom, be forever doomed
and in your sad machines
you’ll forever stay
burning up in speed
lost inside the dreams, of teen machines
the useless drags, the empty days
the lonely towers of long mistakes
to forgotten faces and faded loves
sitting still was never enough
and if you’re giving in, then you’re giving up
cause in your sad machines
you’ll forever stay
burning up in speed
lost inside the dreams, of teen machines

6. Bullet With Butterfly Wings

Bullet With Butterfly Wings

the world is a vampire, sent to drain
secret destroyers, hold you up to the flames
and what do I get, for my pain
betrayed desires, and a piece of the game
even though I know-I suppose I’ll show
all my cool and cold-like old job

despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
someone will say what is lost can never be saved
despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

now I’m naked, nothing but an animal
but can you fake it, for just one more show
and what do you want, I want change
and what have you got
when you feel the same
even though I know-I suppose I’ll show
all my cool and cold-like old job

despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
someone will say what is lost can never be saved
despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

tell me I’m the only one
tell me there’s no other one
jesus was an only son yeah
tell me I’m the chosen one
jesus was an only son for you

despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
someone will say what is lost can never be saved
despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a
despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a
despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

tell me I’m the only one
tell me there’s no other one
jesus was an only son for you

and I still believe that I cannot be saved
and I still believe that I cannot be saved
and I still believe that I cannot be saved
and I still believe that I cannot be saved

7. To Forgive

To Forgive

ten times removed
i forget about where it all began
bastard son of a bastard son of
a wild eyed child of the sun
and right as rain, i’m not the same but
i feel the same, i feel nothing
holding back the fool again
holding back the fool pretends
i forget to forget nothing is important
holding back the fool again
i sensed my loss
before i even learned to talk
and i remember my birthdays
empty party afternoons won’t come back
holding back the fool again
holding back the fool pretends
i forget to forget nothing is important
holding back the fool again
i forget to forget me
i forget to forget you see
nothing is important to me
i knew my loss
before i even learned to speak
and all along, i knew it was wrong
but i played along, with my birthday song
holding back the fool again
holding back the fool pretends
i forget to forget nothing is important
holding back the fool again

8. Fuck You ( An Ode to No One)

Fuck You (An Ode to No One)
I’m never coming back
I’m never giving in
I’ll never be the shine in your spit
I disconnect the act
I disconnect the dots
I disconnect the me in me
And you’re mistaken, It’s you that’s faking
Living and breathing and dying too
This message is for anyoine who dares to hear a fool
You can’t bring me back, you can’t bring me back
Cause I give it all back to you
Thru sacred alleys, the living wrecks
Wreak their havoc upon this world
The disenchanted, the romantics,
The body and face and soul of you is gone down that deep black hole
Destroy the mind-destroy the body-but you cannot destroy the heart
And you, you make me so I need to disconnect
And you make it so real
I don’t need your love to disconnect
To runaround kids in get-go cars
With vaseline afterbirths and neon coughs
Galaxies full of nobodies
Giving us the farewell runarounds
I took a virgin mary axe to his sweet baby jane,
lost my innocence to a no good girl, scratch my
face with anvil hands, and coil my tongue around a bumblebee mouth
And I give it all back to you
No way, I don’t need it, I don’t need your love to disconnect
And you make it, so real, I don’t need your love to disconnect
No way to disconnect
And you make it so real
I don’t need your love to disconnect
No way to disconnect

9. Love

Love
to my mistakes, to my mistakes of cowardice
she shimmy shakes, the jimmy jakes of consequence
born of the airs and dues house, my airs of madness do declare
that it’s ok, it’s love
it’s what you wanted to see, it’s who you wanted to be
for what you needed to need, she’ll make it up
love, it’s who you know
machine gun blues, her vacant rush is so steel
i’m unaware, lost inside your visions
i got mine too over, i got mine and i got you
cause i know you, you’re love
it’s what you wanted to see, it’s who you wanted to be
for what you needed to need, she’ll make it up
love, it’s who you know
–> and when I lost my mind, I knew I was in for the long ride
can i look up to you as you look down on me
can i feel in to you as you felt in to me
i can’t help what you see, i can’t help but to be
for what i needed to need, she’ll make it
love, it’s who you knowLove solves everything. Love

10. Cupid de Locke

Cupid de Locke
Cupid hath pulled back his sweetheart’s bow
To cast divine arrows into her soul
To grab her attention swift and quick
Or morrow the marrow of her bones be thick
With turpentine kisses and mistaken blowsSee the devil may do as the devil may care
He loves none sweeter as sweeter the dare
Her mouth the mischief he doth seek
Her heart the captive of which he speaks
So note all ye lovers in love with the sound
Your world be shattered with nary a note
Of one cupids arrow under your coatAnd in the land of star crossed lovers
And barren hearted wanderers
Forever lost in forsaken missives and Satan’s pull
We seek the unseekable and we speak the unspeakable
Our hopes dead gathering dust to dust
In faith, in compassion, and in love

11.  Galapogos

Galapogos
Ain’t it funny how we pretend we’re still a child
Softly stolen under our blanket skies
And rescue me from me, and all that I believe
I won’t deny the pain
I won’t deny the change
And should I fall from grace here with you
Will you leave me too?Carve out your heart for keeps in an old oak tree
And hold me for goodbyes-and whispered lullabyes
And tell me I am still
The man I’m supposed to be
I won’t deny the pain
I won’t deny the change
And should I fall from grace here with you
Will you leave me too?Too late to turn to turn back now, I’m running out of sound
And I’m changing, changing
And if we died right now, this fool you loved somehow
Is here with you
I won’t deny the pain
I won’t deny the change
And should I fall from grace here with you
Would you leave me too?

12. Muzzle

Muzzle
I fear that I’m ordinary, just like everyone
To lie here and die among the sorrows
Adrift among the days
For everything I ever said
And everything I’ve ever done is gone and dead
As all things must surely have to end
And great loves will one day have to part
I know that I am meant for this world
My life has been extraordinary
Blessed and cursed and won
Time heals but I’m forever broken
By and by the way…
Have you ever heard the words
I’m singing in these songs?
It’s for the girl I’ve loved all along
Can a taste of love be so wrong
As all things must surely have to end
And great loves will one day have to part
I know that I am meant for this world
And in my mind as I was floating
Far above the clouds
Some children laughed I’d fall for certain
For thinking that I’d last forever
But I knew exactly where I wasAnd I knew the meaning of it all
And I knew the distance to the sun
And I knew the echo that is love
And I knew the secrets in your spires
And I knew the emptiness of youth
And I knew the solitude of heart
And I knew the murmurs of the soul
And the world is drawn into your hands
And the world is etched upon your heart
And the world so hard to understand
Is the world you can’t live without
And I knew the silence of the world

13. Porcelina of the Vast Oceans

Porcelina of the Vast Oceans
As far as you take me, that’s where I believe
The realm of soft delusions, floating on the leaves
On a distant shoreline, she waves her arms to me
As all the thought police, are closing in for sleep
The dilly dally, of my bright lit stay
The steam of my misfortunes
Has given me the power to be afraid
And in my mind I’m everyone
And in my mind
Without a care in this whole world
Without a care in this life
It’s what you take that makes it right
Porcelina of the oceans blue
In the slipstream, of thoughtless thoughts
The light of all that’s good, the light of all that’s true
To the fringes gladly, I walk unadorned
With gods and their creations
With filth and disease
Porcelina, she waits for me there
With seashell hissing lullabyes
And whispers fathomed deep inside my own
Hidden thoughts and alibis
My secret thoughts come alive
Without a care in this whole world
Without a care in this life
It’s what you take that makes it right
And in my mind I’m everyone
In my mind I’m everyone of you
You make it right
It’s all alright
You make it right
Porcelina of the oceans blue

13. Take Me Down

Take Me Down
Take me down, to the underground
Won’t you take me down, to the underground
Why of why, there is no light
And if I can’t sleep, can you hold my life
And all I see is you
Take my hand, I lost where I began
In my heart I know all my faults
Will you help me understand
And I believe in you
You’re the other half of me
Soothe and heal…
When you sleep, when you dream, I’ll be there if you need me,
whenever I hear you sing…
There is a sun, it’ll come, the sun, I hear them call me down
I held you once, a lover that once, and life had just begun
And you’re all I see…
And trumpets blew, and angels flew on the other side
And you’re all I see, and you’re all I’ll need
There’s a love that God puts in your heart

Disc Two (Twilight to Starlight)

1.  Where Boys Fear to Tread

“Where Boys Fear To Tread”
Candy cane walks down
To build a bonfire, to break my fall
My baby, my sweet thing
Just maybe we could lose ourselves this time
King of the horseflies, dark prince of death
His tragic forces are heaven sent
In sweet things, in a lovers breath
In knowing this was meant to be the last
A go-go-kids, a go-go-style
A suck suck kiss, a suck suck smile
As always, in young need
A veiled promise to never die
On dead highways, her black beauties roam
For june angels, so far from home
For a love lost, a faded picture
To tread lightning, to ink the lavender skies
So get on the bomb
Get back where you belong

2.  Bodies

“Bodies”

Cast the pearls aside, of a simple life of need
Come into my life forever
The crumbled cities stand as known
Of the sights you have been shown
Of the hurt you call your own
Love is suicide

The empty bodies stand at rest
Casualties of their own flesh
Afflicted by their dispossession
But no bodies ever knew
Nobodys
No bodies felt like you
Nobodys
Love is suicide

Now we drive the night, to the ironies of peace
You can’t help deny forever
The tragedies reside in you
The secret sights hide in you
The lonely nights divide you in two
All my blisters now revealed
In the darkness of my dreams
In the spaces in between us
But no bodies ever knew
Nobodys
No bodies felt like you
Nobodys
Love is suicide

3.  Thirty-three

Thirty-Three 
Speak to me in a language I can hear
Humour me before I have to go
Deep in thought I forgive everyone
As the cluttered streets greet me once again
I know I can’t be late, supper’s waiting on the table
Tomorrow’s just an excuse away
So I pull my collar up and face the cold, on my own
The earth laughs beneath my heavy feet
At the blasphemy in my old jangly walk
Steeple guide me to my heart and home
The sun is out and up and down again
I know I’ll make it, love can last forever
Graceful swans of never topple to the earth

And you can make it last, forever you
You can make it last, forever you
And for a moment I lose myself
Wrapped up in the pleasures of the world
I’ve journeyed here and there and back again
But in the same old haunts I still find my friends
Mysteries not ready to reveal
Sympathies I’m ready to return
I’ll make the effort, love can last forever
Graceful swans of never topple to the earth
Tomorrow’s just an excuse
And you can make it last, forever you
You can make it last, forever you

4.  In the Arms of Sleep

“In The Arms Of Sleep”

Sleep will not come to this tired body now
Peace will not come to this lonely heart
There are some things I’ll live without
But I want you to know that I need you right now
I need you tonite
I steal a kiss from her sleeping shadow moves
Cause I’ll always miss her wherever she goes
And I’ll always need her more than she could ever need me
I need someone to ease my mind
But sometimes a someone is so hard to find
And I’ll do anything to keep her here tonite
And I’ll say anything to make her feel alright
And I’ll be anything to keep her here tonite
Cause I want you to stay, with me
I need you tonite
She comes to me like an angel out of time
As I play the part of a saint on my knees
There are some things I’ll live without
But I want you to know that I need you right now
Suffer my desire
Suffer my desire
Suffer my desire for you

5.  1979

1979

Shakedown 1979
Cool kids never have the time
On a live wire right up off the street
You and I should meet
Junebug skipping like a stone
With the headlights pointed at the dawn
We were sure we’d never see an end to it all

I don’t even care to shake these zipper blues
And we don’t know
Just where our bones will rest
To dust I guess
Forgotten and absorbed to the earth below

Double cross the vacant and the bored
They’re not sure just what we have in store
Morphine city slippin’ dues down to see

We don’t even care as restless as we are
We feel the pull in the land of a thousand guilts
And poured cement, lamented and assured
To the lights and towns below
Faster than the speed of sound
Faster than we thought we’d go
Beneath the sound of hope

Justine never knew the rules,
Hung down with the freaks and ghouls
No apologies ever need be made
I know you better than you fake it to see

We don’t even care to shake these zipper blues
And we don’t know just where our bones will rest
To dust I guess
Forgotten and absorbed into the earth below
The street heats the urgency of now
As you see there’s no one around

 

6.  Tales of a Scorched Earth

Can’t find a video nor an audio

“Tales Of A Scorched Earth”

Farewell goodnight last one out turn out the lights
And let me be, let me die inside
Let me know the way from of this world of hate in you
Cause the dye is cast, and the bitch is back
And we’re all dead yeah we’re all dead
In side the future of a shattered past
I lie just to be real, and I’d die just to feel
Why do the same old things keep on happening?
Because beyond my hopes there are no feelings
Bless the martyrs and kiss the kids
For knowing better, for knowing this
Cause you’re all whores and I’m a fag
And I’ve got no mother and I’ve got no dad
To save me the wasted, save me from myself
I lie just to be real, and I’d die just to feel
Why do the same old things keep on happening?
Because beyond my hopes there are no feelings
Everbody’s lost just waiting to be found
Everyone’s a thought just waiting to fade
So fuck it all cause I don’t care
So what somehow somewhere we dared
To try to dare to dare for a little more
I lie just to be real, and I’d die just to feel
Why do the same old things keep on happening?
Because beyond my hopes there are no reasons

7.  Thru the Eyes of Ruby

“Thru The Eyes Of Ruby”

Wrap me in always, and drag me in with maybes
Your innocence is treasure, your innocence is death
Your innocence is all I have
Breathing underwater, and living under glass
And if you spin your love around
The secrets of your dreams
You may find your love is gone
And is not quite what it seemed
To appear to disappear
Beneath all your darkest fears
I believe in never, I believe in all the way
But belief is not to notice, belief is just some faith
And faith can’t help you to escape
And with this ring I wed thee true
And with this ring I wed thee now
And with this ring I play so dead
But no one’s asking for the truth, so let me tell you
If you spin your love around
The secrets of your dreams
You may find your love is gone
And is not quite what it seemed
To appear to disappear
Beneath all your darkest fears
To the revelations of fresh faced youth
No one will come to save you
So speak your peace in the murmurs drawn
But youth is wasted on the young
Your strength is my weakness, your weakness my hate
My love for you just can’t explain
Why we’re forever frozen, forever beautiful,
Forever lost inside ourselves
The night has come to hold us young

8.  Stumbleine

Stumbleine

Boredoms in the bathroom shaking out the loose teeth
Sally’s in the stirrups claiming her destiny
And nobody nowhere understands anything
About me and all my dreams
Lost at sea
Jack it up judy set your heart alight
Mayfair mistress of the satellites
Misspent youth- faking up a rampage
To hold off the real slaves
Paid off and staid
And what you never knew
Can never get to you
So fake it
I’ll be your stumbleine
I’ll be your super queen
And make you
Jukebox fuckup hanging round the drugstore
No matter what you say he’ll be back for more
Mommy’s in the manger with the little kids
She’s got her reasons, got my forgets
Of tears and idle threats
Misplaced
And no matter what they do
They can’t get to you
So fake it
I’ll be your stumbleine
I’ll be your super queen
And make you me
Come around ruby I could never sleep alone

 

9.  X.Y.U.

XYU

She didnt wanna be, she didnt wanna know
She couldnt run away cause she was crazy
She gave it all away, she saw her baby break
And in the air it hung that she was dull razors
And I said, I wanna fill you up, I wanna break you, I wanna give you up
From one another, another one should come to one another
No one should come between us
Still I was lonely, and she was by my side, my one and only
Knows that she could never hide
I couldnt feel her, and it was just a game,
Cause I was lonely and she was crazy
Rat-tat-tat, ka boom boom, now take that, and just a bit of this
Cause Im a watcher, and Im a doer of none
Come to save you, cause youre all mine
I hurt where I cant feel, I feel where I cant hurt
I know where I cant know, I bleed for me and mine
Ka-boom, a rat-tat-tat, and some good ole bliss
Cause Im a sister, and Im a motherfuck
I am made of shamrocks, I am made of stern stuff
I am never enough, I am the forgotten child
And I said I wanna fill you up, I wanna break you, I wanna give you up
From one another, no one should ever come
In between us, between us and our love
Mary had a little lamb, her face was white as snow
And everywhere that mary went I was sure to go
Now marys got a problem, and marys not a stupid girl
Marys got some deep shit, and mary does not forget
And this is how marys garden grows, and this is how mary has her ghosts
And into the eyes of the jackyl I say ka-boom
Now we begin descent, to where weve never been
There is no going back, this wasnt meant to last
This is a hell on earth, we are meant to serve
And she will never learn [she will never learn]
Bye bye, baby goodbye [bye bye]

10.  We Only Come Out At Night

“We Only Come Out At Night”

We only come out at night, the days are much too bright
We only come out at night
And once again, you’ll pretend to know me well, my friends
And once again, I’ll pretend to know the way
Thru the empty space
Thru the secret places of the heart
We only come out at night, the days are mush too bright
We only come out at night
I walk alone, I walk alone to find the way home
I’m on my own, I’m on my own to see the ways
That I can’t help the days, you will make it home o.k.
I know you can, and you can
We only come out at night, the days are much too bright
We only come out at night
And once again, you’ll pretend to know that
There’s an end, that there’s an end to this begin
It will help you sleep at night
It will make it seem that right is always right
Alright?
We only come out at night
11.  Beautiful
TBC

 

Categories
Medium-Filipino Poems Random Thoughts

04 December 2011, One Rainy Sunday Morning

Ako’y maagang gumising

Upang magdilig ng halaman

Nang ang hardin ay tunguhin

Ay aking napag-alaman

Ang langit ay kay dilim

At kay lakas ng ulan

Di na kakailanganin

Ang balde’y itago na lamang

Silid ay muling pasukin

At bumalik sa higaan

Ang buhay ay sadyang ganyan

Kailangang lumihis sa nakasanayan

Kapag sobra na ang lahat

Huwag nang ipagpilitan

Mawawalan lang ng saysay

Ang pinaghirapan

Malulunod lamang siya

At isusuka ka lamang

Ang aking tula ay tagalog

Maiba naman

Masayang paggising

Magandang Umaga Bayan